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Soccer sucks anyway


The American women’s soccer team just won its second straight World Cup after defeating the Netherlands over the weekend — after which midfielder Allie Long dropped the U.S. flag on the ground to do a little dance with seriously Trump-hating teammate Megan Rapinoe.

And that was after a group of American soccer fans in France gathered in a sports bar and kicked off a loud and raucous and obnoxious “F– Trump” chant.

Well, you know what?

Soccer sucks anyway.

America’s real sports are, in order: Baseball. Football. Hockey. And basketball.

Soccer is what little kids play when they’re first learning how to run and tie shoes. It’s an all-inclusive sport that even those without athletic ability can play. Seriously, who can’t kick — or at least stand on the field and shift around a bit when the ball bounces by?

Soccer is a liberals’ sport.

It’s a mom’s sport. A “let’s not keep score, pass out the participation trophies” type of sport.

It’s a Saturday morning social hour that gets the children off the couch, away from the video games, into the fresh air, and helps the snack-makers and juicers of America sell their big multipack box items that would otherwise lag on grocery store shelves. It’s the precursor to the adult world’s bowling with beer.

Yet, it’s globally popular.

It’s admittedly the most popular sport in the world — and it still sucks.

“There are places where the game carries a special mystique,” From wrote. “Think Brazil, Argentina, England, Germany, Spain, Italy, France.”

Leave it there then.

Along with Rapinoe.

Along with Rapinoe, the U.S. women’s soccer team captain who said earlier this summer that she’s “not going to the f–– White House.”

Which leads to the somewhat obvious question: Why play for the U.S. women’s soccer team if you can’t properly represent the United States?

Soccer sucks anyway.

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