10. I married a trophy wife but I couldn’t afford the polish.
9. Mother Nature has turned a cold shoulder to Global Warming.
8. I was going to be a psychic but there’s no future in it.
7. The lead dog endures the cold wind first.
6. I was banned from Normal IL. for obvious reasons.
5. What did the earthquake say to the tornado? “It’s not my fault!”
4. I got married to an actress but it was only a cameo part.
3. Possessions are 9/10s of our flaws.
2. If life gives you a ruffled feather use it to tickle someone.
1. Victories often occur when you see no way to succeed but refuse to give up anyway.