10. What did the lion say to the Cheetah? I’m starting a gnu diet.
9. I told my doctor I swallowed a wrench. He said, “This tool—shall pass!”
8. Never point a finger when you can lend a hand.
7. My wife offered me a broom when she saw a foot of snow on my car. I told her, “Okay, but you’ll have to teach me how to fly it.”
6. Be an oasis not a mirage.
5. Sometimes you have to put your foot down to get a leg up.
4. I grew up on a crocodile ranch. I was an only child—eventually.
3. My dog got into my stash of Viagra—at least he stopped chasing his own tail.
2. There’s a lot of testosterone in my marriage—too bad none of its mine.
1. I’m not smart enough to dumb things down.