One Line Philosopher TOP TEN!! Week of 4/10/17

The One Line Philosopher…

Top Ten of The Week

By Dave Weinbaum

04/10/2017

1. Why do marriage announcements appear next to the obits?

2. I named my daughter Penny—now she feels shortchanged.

3. Sometimes you have to thumb your nose at the rule of thumb.

4. If some animals had listened to their instinct they wouldn’t be extinct.

5. I bit the hand that fed me—now they call me lefty.

6. The secret to a successful marriage is to keep the exes who hate you away from your bride who’s not sure.

7. I was going to be a lawyer but I lost my appeal.

8. Never get on the bandwagon until you learn to play an instrument.

9. I married a trophy wife but I couldn’t afford the polish.

10. Mother Nature has turned a cold shoulder to Global Warming.