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One Line Philosopher TOP 10!! 3/20/17

The One Line Philosopher…

Top Ten of The Week

By Dave Weinbaum


1. I told my doctor I swallowed a wrench. He said, “This tool—shall pass!”

2. Never point a finger when you can lend a hand.

3. My wife offered me a broom when she saw a foot of snow on my car. I told her, “Okay, but you’ll have to teach me how to fly it.”

4. Be an oasis not a mirage.

5. Sometimes you have to put your foot down to get a leg up.

6. I grew up on a crocodile ranch. I was an only child—eventually.

7. My dog got into my stash of Viagra—at least he stopped chasing his own tail.

8. There’s a lot of testosterone in my marriage—too bad none of its mine.

9. I’m not smart enough to dumb things down.

10. Never feed your straw dogs red herrings.

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