One Line Philosopher TOP 10!! 3/20/17

March 20, 2017

 

The One Line Philosopher…

Top Ten of The Week

By Dave Weinbaum

03/20/2017

 

1.    I told my doctor I swallowed a wrench. He said, “This tool—shall pass!”

 

2.    Never point a finger when you can lend a hand.

 

3.    My wife offered me a broom when she saw a foot of snow on my car. I told her, “Okay, but you’ll have to teach me how to fly it.”

 

4.   Be an oasis not a mirage.

 

5.   Sometimes you have to put your foot down to get a leg up.

 

6.   I grew up on a crocodile ranch. I was an only child—eventually.

 

7.   My dog got into my stash of Viagra—at least he stopped chasing his own tail.

 

8.   There’s a lot of testosterone in my marriage—too bad none of its mine.

 

9.   I’m not smart enough to dumb things down.

 

10.   Never feed your straw dogs red herrings.

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