One Line Philosopher TOP TEN 01/23/17
The One Line Philosopher…
Top Ten of The Week
By Dave Weinbaum
1. I told my doctor I swallowed a wrench. He said, “This tool—shall pass!”
2. Never point a finger when you can lend a hand.
3. My wife offered me a broom when she saw a foot of snow on my car. I told her, “Okay, but you’ll have to teach me how to fly it.”
4. Be an oasis not a mirage.
5. Sometimes you have to put your foot down to get a leg up.
6. I grew up on a crocodile ranch. I was an only child—eventually.
7. My dog got into my stash of Viagra—at least he stopped chasing his own tail.
8. There’s a lot of testosterone in my marriage—too bad none of its mine.
9. I’m not smart enough to dumb things down.
10. Never feed your straw dogs red herrings.